Posts filed under 'Thoughts on other things...'
I was chatting with a friend yesterday about my breakup and he commiserated that, “relationships are hard.” To which I responded, “well, no.” As in that is not how I would characterize my thoughts on what has happened.
He nodded and said, “Yes, but, getting the ingredients right, it’s difficult.” And again I shook my head.
I find distasteful (if understandable) the inclination to imply and assume that a relationship can or ought to be judged by its having ended. Or the associated assumption that a relationship can be measured by its longevity.
I measure my relationships by the amount that we, as a couple, feel we have learned and grown together as a result of the inspiration and support we have offered and shared. Can this be correlated with the length of the relationship itself? Of course. But often it is not. And in fact many relationships that are incredibly long, it could be suggested ought not have been so, by more rational assessments of what it means to be in a good relationship. I consider it natural that just like most people, when I am in certain kinds of relationships I think about things like life-long partnership, raising kids, etc. …but that is not the ultimate goal of the exercise–not by a long stretch.
I do not, in anyway, characterize my current breakup as a loss, or any kind of comment on the glorious and flourishing relationship Gabe and I have shared. I consider it to be incredibly aptly timed, and I am proud of both of us for making the choice that feels right for us in choosing to move on and toward new paths. And I stress that these paths will not be ‘better’ for each of us than what we had when we were together, but might be ‘better’ than where we would end up if we chose to stay together now. Like everything else we have shared this breakup feels like a natural and positive progression, and I pray that our relationship is not ending but growing into something new, a loving friendship, which we will share as each of us moves on to new and exciting things.
Anyway, that’s just my thoughts on the matter, (the ones) which I thought I’d share.
July 26th, 2008
I would like to announce that today our vegetarian, Jewish roommate went to get some ham at the grocery store for Gabe and me. Sometimes irony is just so damn fun.
February 17th, 2008
Man pays $14 million for a license plate ‘1′ in the United Arab Emirates (UAE).
Okay, so first of all, some people have too much money and not enough brains. But that’s old news.
More importantly how the hell can a license plate, according to the article, have “only the western numerals” instead what is apparently the norm in UAE, to”carry both Arabic and western numerals and script”? Our modern-day western numeral ARE Arabic numerals.
Anyone? Anyone?
*shakes head*
February 16th, 2008
I have struggled, as someone raised outside a strictly religious family, but with Christian influence, and having turned from the teachings of the faith with the idea of how to raise my own children. I do not want to bring them up under Christian theology. I do not want them to feel they are inherantly sinful, or somehow incomplete unless they accept a particular belief system, or to fear that they, or their loved ones may end up in hell (all ideas I struggled with as a child).And yet it seems inescapable to me that the young mind be raised with myth.
Our minds, particularly the minds of our children, are deeply structured on narrative–and in that sense whatever is given to them will be taken as myth. And so I shudder at the idea of raising them, in such a consumerist culture with no structural ideas as their myth. And yet even more frightening to me is the idea of sending them to ‘atheist’ or ’secular’ sunday schools (which are now popping up)–because the last thing you need is a child to develop skepticism as their myth.
Rational engagement with ideas and the development of compassion for others through understanding their choices and needs are ideals I would promote–and those are not ideals afforded by any faith (besides Buddhism) any more than they are promoted by modern day atheism which avidly declares religions to be the antithesis of science.
At the end of the day, I feel it is often lost that believing in God, or claiming that there is a God, is only as ludicrous as believing or claiming there is no God. It seems to me, lost on some secular rationalists that admitting agnosticism, in the true sense of the word, is the only “rational” claim.
February 1st, 2008
There is something bizarre, to me, about people who claim to be rational, and open thinkers who beat against the Bible and the Christian faith as if it were some kind of punching bag through which they were supposed to be able to make themselves feel smarter.
The Bible is an extremely ancient collection of written works, parts of it respected for millennia, that cannot be easily dismissed. Are there parts of it which are contradictory, or ludicrous in the light of scientific discoveries? Yes. But if you are a secular rationalist then step back and accept it for what it is–a collection of myths and stories that helped, and continues to help, various peoples and cultures around the world through times of strife and trouble when things seemed to be going so wrong in the world that nothing could make life seem worth living.
Sure, you say. But your point is that people out there take it literally! They take it seriously! Every word, you scream, they believe! And I hear you. It stresses me out too. And I’ll admit that I don’t have an answer to that, but I do have a few things to say.
1. Attempting to repeatedly prove that the arguments behind their faith are hollow will never accomplish anything. Their faith is not filling a rational need in their life. It is filling a deep spiritual one, and to take that from them is simply to open them up to the painful experience of absurdity. Only through the experience of seeing the possibility of living and enjoying a compassionate, fulfilling life outside a Christian faith could their beliefs ever be changed–and you are not working toward that end by stirring bad blood with them.
2. As long as you spend so much of your breath attacking their beliefs you are still attached to, and controlled by the role the faith has played in your own life. To actively reject Christianity, so viscerally, or even so rationally (considering it’s not a rational faith) is to accept it as a tenant to be actively argued against. It is not. It is a faith. Ignore it, if it’s not what you want for yourself.
February 1st, 2008
I am frustrated.
I am angered.
I am experiencing visceral and emotional responses to arguments that strike me as unfair, and hypocritically narrow.
It has always seemed patently ignorant, to me, to pit science against religion, or to purport it to be some important step forward we have taken from religion as we progress as a species.
As if science did not depend on leaps of faith. For science to work we need to trust our ability to perform inductive reasoning. We need to trust the theoretical choices and probability assignments we make. We need to put faith in the choices of educated individuals to hold one theory up over another. And that’s okay. That is how it works. And an argument can most certainly be made for using our competency as a species as evidence for our reasoning abilities, and the reasoning of our trained scientists.
But let us not lose sight of the parallels between choosing to hold science above all else, and to take the word of the theorist and the choice to hold religion above all else in taking the word of the theologians. There are differences, absolutely. But, there are similarities, and to deny that is arrogant and ignorant.
*I ended up here because friends of mine had joined a group about it on that evil social network we all use. And I browsed around this mixture of sometimes rational and compassionate ideals based on mindfulness and wellness yet often arrogant and pigheaded battering of the beliefs of religious others and I got frustrated. Because hypocrisy irritates me. You can be dogmatic, and fundamentalist and myopic if you want–but if you’re going to be then leave others to do the same (at least if you’re going to claim ‘rationality’ as your one of your main motivations and inspirations).
February 1st, 2008
Those of you who see me at all regularly have probably noticed and/or had me explain to you the rather elaborate experimental diet I’ve been on for the last two months or so. The idea of the diet was simple enough: systematically uncover any food sensitivities and allergies that may be adversely effecting me. Fair enough and a good idea right? The thing is, my boyfriend, Gabe, did it with me, and frankly I was expecting the experience he has had. He felt extremely healthy when we did the ‘detox’ section and has been fine as we reintroduced all the foodgroups. Instead I have experienced a sensitivity to virtually everything we have reintroduced (with the exception of the “nitrate group”: tomatoes, potatoes, mushrooms and peppers–thank god!). I am apparently gluten-intolerent, have a sensitivity to corn, eggs, dried fruit and nuts, and dairy is bad for my skin. Crazyness I say.
Two reasons I write about this:
1. It’s almost getting to be winter again and by cutting these things from my diet I am expecting great improvements on last winter.
2. I wanted to share a little something about my recent trip. Basically for the last month and a half the patch of eczema on my hand has come extremely close to healing many times only to get slightly aggravated by new things I reintroduced. When I say slightly aggravated I mean it would go a bit more red, and maybe tickle a bit. On my way home to Canada this weekend I had to cheat on the diet a little wee bit, but to the best of my knowledge the only places I cheated were a. a bit of oil which wasn’t extra virgin olive oil, and b. some meat that wasn’t organic. The day I got home my head was killing me. Absolutely the worst headache I’ve had in years, and my eczema physically hurts it’s so dry and irritated.
Apparently my body is particularly sensitive, so fair enough. But I’m not reacting to nothing. This non-organic meat is actually pretty darn scary stuff. If you can’t afford organic, that right there is your best reason to become vegetarian.
September 25th, 2007
“Then you should say what you mean,” the March Hare went on.
“I do,” Alice hastily replied; “at least–at least I mean what I say–that’s the same thing, you know.”
“Not the same a bit!” said the Hatter. “Why, you might just as well say that ‘I see what I eat’ is the same thing as ‘I eat what I see’”!
–Lewis Carroll
September 16th, 2007
Lately I have been becoming more firm in my disillusionment with science. It has existed in varying forms since about 5 years ago when I encountered Jung’s comparison between scientific norms and personal myths. This last month or two I have been sensing that science, as it is practiced or revered by the majority of people (i.e. undergraduate students/degree holders and the general public) is a relatively awe-crushing pursuit. It is true that it is not like that by necessity–so much as by chance, or as a result of the nature of humans to be more in awe of that which they don’t understand.
I think the key is that a true scientist, or especially a true philosopher of science, is aware of the limitations of his field and how little we have actually come to ‘know’. Where as most of us out in the world tend to treat science as cold hard fact.
I turn to John Maynard Keynes:
…there is no direct relation between the truth of a proposition an its probability. Probability begins and ends with probability. That a scientific investigation pursued on account of its probability will generally lead to truth, rather than falsehood, is at best only probable.
July 23rd, 2007
This, right here, is your biggest problem. If you want to stop abortions then make students aware of how NOT to get pregnant. Sure some students will wait until they are married. Sure it may be a good idea and one worth teaching. But if that’s all you give people then some of them are going to have unprotected sex and they are going to get pregnant. …and social conservatives, unwanted pregnancies cause situations you really don’t like.
A $166 million US INCREASE in money used to teach abstinance to students. Brilliant.
I am not pro-choice in the sense that I think abortion is a woman’s right. But women and men should be educated about making smart choices. And “unwanted children” is a phrase I would love to see irradicated from our terminology altogether. Just teach, people. That will solve your problem.
I have been taking classes over at the Catholic College, St. Michael’s, this year. The anti-abortion propoganda there has been blowing my mind. One sign says “Countries which allow abortion are not promoting love, but the idea that you can get what you want through violence. That is why abortion is the single greatest destroyer of love and peace.” Like I said I am not fundamentally pro-choice. The idea of abortion makes me queasy in a lot of ways. But THE GREATEST DESTROYER OF LOVE AND PEACE? …you have GOT to be kidding me. Try world hunger? no. War Children? nah. Lack of international literacy? nope. The AIDS epidemic? No silly. …abortion.
Ridiculous people. Get some perpsective.
April 14th, 2007
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