Archive for July, 2008
I was chatting with a friend yesterday about my breakup and he commiserated that, “relationships are hard.” To which I responded, “well, no.” As in that is not how I would characterize my thoughts on what has happened.
He nodded and said, “Yes, but, getting the ingredients right, it’s difficult.” And again I shook my head.
I find distasteful (if understandable) the inclination to imply and assume that a relationship can or ought to be judged by its having ended. Or the associated assumption that a relationship can be measured by its longevity.
I measure my relationships by the amount that we, as a couple, feel we have learned and grown together as a result of the inspiration and support we have offered and shared. Can this be correlated with the length of the relationship itself? Of course. But often it is not. And in fact many relationships that are incredibly long, it could be suggested ought not have been so, by more rational assessments of what it means to be in a good relationship. I consider it natural that just like most people, when I am in certain kinds of relationships I think about things like life-long partnership, raising kids, etc. …but that is not the ultimate goal of the exercise–not by a long stretch.
I do not, in anyway, characterize my current breakup as a loss, or any kind of comment on the glorious and flourishing relationship Gabe and I have shared. I consider it to be incredibly aptly timed, and I am proud of both of us for making the choice that feels right for us in choosing to move on and toward new paths. And I stress that these paths will not be ‘better’ for each of us than what we had when we were together, but might be ‘better’ than where we would end up if we chose to stay together now. Like everything else we have shared this breakup feels like a natural and positive progression, and I pray that our relationship is not ending but growing into something new, a loving friendship, which we will share as each of us moves on to new and exciting things.
Anyway, that’s just my thoughts on the matter, (the ones) which I thought I’d share.
July 26th, 2008
This year I became increasingly frustrated by my being a tax-paying and voting citizen whose army was involved in a war that I felt I knew too little about. So this summer began, for me, with reading a number of books to try to remedy that a bit, and each of them proved full of incredibly interesting information for those in a similar boat.
I by no means claim that this is anywhere near a list that will give you all the information we all ought to have. It’s just where I started:
Omar Nasiri’s Inside the Jihad
This was a fascinating look at the rise of Al-qaeda from a rather reluctant spy who worked for the French intelligence services, attended training camps, and was associated with key members of Al-qaeda. What made the book most interesting to me was the extent to which the author remained notably unsympathetic to either side of what he saw as the divide between Islam and the West–he was neither in support of the methods being used by terrorists nor did he believe that their opinions of the West, nor their desire to fight against the West were necessarily wrong. This, to me, made for a fascinating perspective. Also, while it’s fairly long, it read like a good novel and I had it read in about two days.
Khaled Hosseini’s The Kite Runner
This was a beautiful, and gut-wrenching and tragic book that I highly recommend. It followed the life of an Afghani whose father was able to move he and his son to America but who later had to return to Afghanistan to save a young boy. The book was structured quite well considering the complexity of the political issues of the country, which were woven into the story as highly relevant while remaining backdrops to the gripping tales of individuals living through such shockingly difficult times.
Michelle Shephard’s Guanatanamo’s Child
This was an incredibly shocking and important book, especially for Canadians. The author, Michelle Shephard, is an award-winning journalist with The Toronto Star who has won Canada’’s top two newspaper awards: the National Newspaper Award for investigations and the Governor General’’s Michener Award for public service journalism.
I truly need to find the time to dedicate an entire post to Omar’s story, although there is a great deal available in the news. Here you can find a CBC ‘in depth’ article on Khadr, and here is a very recent article which I highly recommend, discussing the legalities behind bringing him home. Also here you can find Matt Good’s musings on the matter along with his requesting that you email the Prime Minister to demand that Canada demand Khadr’s return. Please do so.
Michael Ignatieff’s The Lesser Evil: Political Ethics in an Age of Terror
This book was fairly short, dense, but important insofar as it reflects on commentary within Canadian politics on how to deal with terrorism. The basic thrust of the argument is that while we do have a right to use force and violence to protect the societies in which we live and the principles on which they are founded, to do so in ways which violate those principles is not only morally questionable but is dangerous to the societies we puport to protect. Thus, Ignatieff argues for a great deal of awareness of the extent to which we are violating those principles and a constant and careful assessment of whether our actions can be justified in so doing.
Benazir Bhutto’s Reconciliation: Democracy, Islam and the West
I consider this book to be very important. It was a simultaneously difficult and fascinating read. It was difficult for strange reasons. 1. it was a message from the grave–and a message from a woman who knew very well how soon her death might be approaching, and 2. I feel, particularly toward the end, that editing was not carried out as well as it ought to have been (facts were needlessly repeated and arguments were less solidly constructed), perhaps, tragically, as a result of the author’s death. That said it was a book which challenged conventional wisdom on democracy, Islam and ‘the West’ in ways which were very important, or so it seemed to me.
Each book cover links to its page on indigo.ca
Happy reading.
July 24th, 2008
Everybody hates change right? And even if you learn to accept it, and grow with it, every body hates change right?
Which is to say you can approach changes head on, knowing what makes them important, why they are necessary, or positive, but your body is still going to struggle with the change itself. You’re going to be overly tired. You’re going to find sleeping difficult. You’re going to stumble and trip over words just because your brain and your tongue aren’t quite in alignment as your whole body shakes and shifts through the cramps and shivers of change.
That said you’ll come out on the other side. All the stronger if you’ve met the change with your eyes up, and your head tall. Right?
July 24th, 2008
1. The belief in hell, and the fear of ending up there.
2. Fostering a detachment from this life.
2.a. and thus justifying not caring for our planet or the life on it (including one’s own, and that of other people).
3. The acceptance of the devil or of this world as a necessarily evil place
3.a. and thus justifying the existence of poverty and inequality.
July 8th, 2008