Turning into a Woman (missing places I’ve been)
I have changed a lot in the last few years. In little ways, that probably don’t seem to amount to much from the outside, but change my entire experience of living–and as best as I can chalk it up it is simply the growing pains of the tomboy who inevitably grows up into a woman. So what has changed?
I cry more. I scream when I’m startled. I get startled. Bugs scare me. I love small children. My heart stops when I see a newborn baby sleeping. And I have grown to be nostalgic.
I remember 2 short years ago (if that), discussing with a dear friend of mine the idea of having chapters in your life. You know? Sections which open, develop and close. Fully-contained. I used to feel like my life had sections like that–things I had been through and learned from, which I had left behind. Now too much thought about a time in my past and my heart begins to bleed for moments which seem lost.
They say ‘it’s a small world’. And with globalization it’s just getting smaller. But you know what? Japan is just too bloody far away. And a whole year of your life somewhere is a hard thing to have left behind.
I can’t imagine how those people, even just 50 years ago, got on those boats and left Europe and came to this corner of the world knowing they would never have the luxury of looking back. I can’t imagine it for a second. I don’t understand how you can say goodbye to homes of yours, and to the people who have made those homes what they were. I don’t understand how you are supposed to move on.
When did I get to be so bloody emotional?
4 comments August 13th, 2007